Stand firm in faith; be courageous; be strong. - CT Scan Results.

September 27, 2017

Today Ben and I had our much anticipated visit with his doctor to review his CT scan results. Something told us both going into it that it wouldn't be good news. Ben has not had many good days over the past few weeks and something didn't feel right. They say usually when your gut is telling you something, it's right. Sure enough, we were given news today that I really wish I didn't have to share.

Ben's cancer has progressed in his liver and lungs. His CEA marker has increased, indicating the cancer has in fact gotten worse. Ben has become resistant to the first line of chemotherapy treatment that he has been receiving over the past year. It is no longer working for him. The news didn't really surprise Ben or I. Matter of fact we were both kind of excepting it. Something just hasn't been right and there was no way the CT scan was going to show improvement, at least that's what Ben and I thought. Still, the news does come with a lot of heart break and a lot of unknowns. Since the chemotherapy treatment isn't working Ben did not do his round of chemo today. Instead, we spent the next while talking with his nurse and doctor about our next steps. Here is the plan going forward. I've tried to break them down simply (maybe this will even help me)

1. Ben will stop his current chemotherapy treatment here in St. Catharines.
2. There is another drug that might be available as a second line of treatment. This drug is the #1 choice for next treatment suggested by his oncologist. But it is $10,000/ month. We have learned that this drug is not covered by our current private insurance company. A Drug Access Facilitator has been assigned to Ben's case to see if this drug could be covered by the Patient Assistance Program with compassion care. Clinically he does qualify but we will have to wait to see if they will for sure help. We have sent through an application for this and will hopefully hear within the week. This treatment would be given to Ben in St. Catharines. Please pray this becomes available to him!
3. IF this treatment is not an option, we will need to find another option. Ben's oncologist is contacting Sunnybrook in Toronto to search for any clinical trials.
4. IF the #1 choice of treatment isn't an option, and Sunnybrook does not have any clinical trials to offer Ben, he will be started on a second line of treatment here in St.Catharines which will be given the same way, every other week by his port and bottle.
5. We will meet with Ben's doctor again next week to make our decision based on what's available to us.

As you can see there are a lot of "IFs" here. So, we wait it out again until we hear what our next official steps are. Treatment will not cure Ben, as I have mentioned before. Any treatment going forward is given to prolong Ben's life here with us.

As I sit and write all of this down I feel sad reflecting on the past year and where we are today. Obviously this isn't what we wanted. It was only 15 months ago that Ben received his initial diagnosis and only 7 months ago we thought Ben was going to qualify for a life changing surgery, and now we are staring down the road of clinical trials and second line treatments. How and Why? We could ask those questions until we are blue in the face. The only thing we can continue to do at this point is keep looking to our God to keep us going and to comfort us. We will continue to pray for more days together, more good days for Ben; that he feels well to participate in activities and outings with me and the girls. Thank you to those who reached out to us today and remembered we were receiving these results. Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. Please continue to stand with us in prayer.

1 Corinthians 16:13 

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.