The definition of community:
a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.
I have mentioned the power of community many times in my posts. It's just something I can't go along without emphasizing. This year community has been one of the biggest parts of our life and without it we would not be standing here making it through like we have. If you happen to have access to my Facebook page you would have seen that this past weekend was quite eventful for us. I managed to trigger a sciatic nerve that had been bugging me for some time now. This landed me on the couch for 2 days with minimal movement. I was finally able to get up and walk around today to go see my doctor and get some x-rays. Trying to care for my ill husband and our two very active girls, and suddenly finding myself not even moving put me into a bit of a mental spin. It hit me how helpless I was in that moment. But I remembered to do what you have all been telling me over this past year and a half... to call for help when I need it. So, I called upon our community of family and friends and boy did you come through!! I obviously couldn't care for our girls so both Ben's parents, and mine, helped out by taking them for the night. Sleep overs at grandma and grandpa's and momma and papa's are always fun! My sister took the girls for a day to play, my brother-in-law came to the rescue with osteo care, which helped me immensely, my sister-in-law came with dinner, my best friend took Kendal for the day so I could get to my appointments, my parents set aside time during their busy weekend to come and clean up all our leaves within the yard, and within minutes of posting this mishap on Facebook I had a meal set up for every day this week to help carry my load. How great is the feeling of community. How many hands make for light work in our life right now. How loved we feel in a deep time of need. If you have ever been in a position of fully relying on community, you will know what I am talking about. This feeling of complete helplessness switches into a feeling of helped and cared for, loved and genuinely blessed. You, our community of friends and family, are to be thanked for our family standing on our feet right now. You, our community, are to be reminded how much we love you all and how thankful we are for every single one of you. I see God's greatness in each of you. There is not a day that this goes unnoticed.
I am currently on the mend, feeling better today but still very sore and tender. I am taking it easy and listening to the practitioners and doctors who say to slow down and rest, that stress does crazy things to our bodies. Ben has had a few OK days. He is up, but he is not always well. He is really struggling. I watch this man face every single day with its own challenges. What breaks my heart is when he says, "I am just so sick and tired of being sick and tired every single day. I just want to wake up and have one good day. Even a few hours". The fatigue and general unwell feeling is taking a lot out of him. Ben has been on this journey and receiving chemotherapy for 17 months. Last Wednesday Ben completed his 29th round of chemotherapy. We have family and friends who have received 6-12 rounds who are in awe of how much chemo Ben has actually received to date. Just the side effects of chemotherapy alone are enough for some people to throw in the towel. I can tell by looking at Ben that his biggest fight to keep going is the little redhead and little blonde staring up at him each day. He certainly loves his girls.
The plan going forward for Ben is to continue on with the current chemo regimen. In 4 weeks we will meet with his oncologist who will set up another scan to assess the progress. I used to be able to kind of tell how the chemo is working for Ben but I don't even know anymore. These things are blending together and the good days he once experienced seem so far and in between. Send a prayer out for us that this chemo brings him more days ahead and good days with us. We are still meeting with the pain and symptom management physician and Ben's pain seems to be controlled and manageable now. We are thankful for this!
So, I'm going to keep this short and sweet today. I couldn't go the rest of the week without thanking you all for your help, yet again, during what seems to be the worst year of our life, and yet somehow the most humbling and gratifying, the biggest year of learning and changing and believing, and I give you, our community, a lot of credit for helping us grow and learn how to give and support others during a time of need.
I'm a friend of Jerry and Marilyn, who just shared your blog today. I'm so thankful to read that your community has come through for you. Many hands do make light work, and even small offers of help make a huge difference for families dealing with a serious, ongoing illness.
ReplyDeleteAfter my Dad was diagnosed with early onset Lewy Body dementia, my family and I were caregiving, on top of our responsibilities at work and school. In our case, because Dad's symptoms made people feel uncomfortable, we faced awful loneliness and distance from the church family we thought would embrace us. I felt like we were drowning, and our community was content to watch from the safety of shore. It was brutal, and taught me a lot about the community- and helping-related teachings in Scripture that seem to be considered optional, or based on personal comfort. During that time, a friend of ours was also dealing with cancer, and she talked about experiencing the same loneliness. So it's good to hear you're finding the love and help that you need! It's more rare than it ought to be.