Let's do a little recap here. In January Ben's chemo treatments showed to be working. The doctors were very impressed and so we met with surgeons in Hamilton to discuss a possible liver resection. This resection would cut out 75% of his liver to remove the cancer, at which point after recovery Ben could potentially qualify for surgery on his colon to remove the cancer. Ben underwent an embolization procedure to prepare him for this surgery, enlarging the one side of his liver so he would be able to live with the portion left. Of course these surgeries were pending the results of his CT scans and MRIs done over the past few weeks. In order to quality for the the first liver resection the scans had to show no growth of the cancer.
Yesterday was the day we had been waiting for, for weeks. I felt my anxiety go through the roof Monday and Tuesday wanting to know what Ben's scans showed. I sit here at my computer in complete devastation to share with you that the cancer has indeed grown in his liver, and now in fact spread to the lungs. We sat in the doctors office yesterday to be told that Ben does not qualify for the surgery that was once in arms reach. The cancer is too aggressive. I can't tell you how much I've cried since hearing those words yesterday. My poor husband is in a very hard place right now.
Next Steps: Ben will now go back on chemotherapy indefinitely. Chemo at this point will not cure Ben, but it will help improve his pain and increase his quality of life. Ben will do 6 months of chemo at which point a scan will be done to see how things are doing. If the scans show to be stable, Ben will repeat another 6 months of chemo either the same type, or if they find his body is not responding they will switch him to another form of chemo. In complete shock sitting in the doctors office we asked what this meant for Ben and our family. Ultimately Ben has been given 4-5 years living on chemotherapy. Writing that makes me so sad. Our heart hurts and our heads are spinning. We are feeling very defeated right now.
I can feel my hands shake and tears form in my eyes as I write this post. My heart breaks for our friends and family who have been awaiting the news on Ben's surgery.
We do believe God has a plan for us, we just aren't sure what it is right now. We are asking for prayer right now to help us and lift us through this. There was such a light at the end of our tunnel and feeling like that light has gone out has Ben and I completely at loss. Spending quality time with our friends and family is very important to us right now. To our friends and family; I encourage you to reach out when possible. Time together and memories made are special. We still remain hopeful that God is not done with this journey and great things can be done.
Amy, I have been privileged to hear about your family, thanks to your friend's sister Becca, & you have been in our thoughts & prayers for months now. I'm so sorry that the surgery is not a viable option & I can only imagine how you're both feeling right now. I know that YOU know that God is working through your family right now & he's been there step by step during the entire journey. You aren't alone, and He will be with each of you going forward, no matter what trials you must endure. You & your family are also being lifted up in prayer by friends and complete strangers alike & prayers ARE answered. Please, in your devoted role as caretaker, make sure that you take the time to care for yourself as well. It's almost too easy to focus entirely on those around you, but you need attention and support as well, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Your devotion to God can only help you to face whatever the future holds and He will never turn His back. I am sending you virtual strength & support, but as someone who lives in the area, know that the community WANTS to give practical support as well. Please let Becca know if there's anything my family can do to help yours. Xoxo
ReplyDelete